My Weekend: You take the good, you take the bad

So, if the dead grandma, dead mom and an $800 car repair wasn’t enough for one year, now our kitchen looks like this:

That’s right, we had a leak from our dishwasher that ran up under our flooring and now the whole flooring and all the cabinets had to come out to let the subfloor dry out.  Good times. 

Is this not the best year ever? I can hardly wait to see what fun 2011 has in store for us! 

Well, being on the verge of killing yourself can really bring out the best in your husband. Sometimes.  Let me repeat, sometimes.  He isn’t handing this woman’s depression and many mega meltdowns with perfect ease, but he is trying.  God bless him, he is trying the best way the can. 

My hubby, in all his awesomeness took me to see *THE* Chelsea Handler Friday night. Yep. Awesomeness, right?!?!  And the best part, we are going to get refunded our money for the tickets because they were having some sound issues and the sound sucked ass (I want to blame myself for bringing my constant rain cloud of bad luck with me, but I don’t want to be responsible for refunding all those people their tickets so I will leave that to the venue to handle that clusterfuck)

I was super excited as I am a HUGE fan of Ms. Handler!  AND my “not so biggest fan of a Ms. Handler” cousin was getting to see her for free as in one of her best friends bought her a ticket (a while ago) and naturally I was jealous (this whole time) yet again of my oh so perfect cousin and her oh so perfect life.  But back to my point.  My wonderful hubby was taking me to see Chelsea Handler!!!  And that was awesome!

So me and my hubby were sitting there just waiting for the show to start in this arena that seats like 18,000 or so people, I’m guessing.  We were trying to see if we could spot my cousin. I naturally assumed she had front row seats because that is just how her life works out.  But I was wrong.  Out of all the seats in that entire place, remember like 18,000 or so… who but who should have a ticket for the seat right next to me?

Yep.  My cousin.  That is my hubby, me and my cousin. What. Are. The. Odds?!?!? I mean really? The ticket in her hand was for the seat right next to mine!  Are you kidding me? That on top of the sound being fucked up, I was screaming in my head, “FUCK YOU KARMA! COME ON! Give me just one freaking break, will ya?!?! What the FUCK have I done so wrong that I can’t get one freaking night to forget about how fucked up my life is?  I hate you Karma, or whoever you are that is so totally fucking with me!” But as you can see, I put on a big bright smile and acted happy as usual.  *le sigh* I know you’re sick of it too. I’m sick of complaining about how fucked up my life is as well.  Trust me, when I have something to cheer about, you will be the first to know.

But I digress.

Earlier in the night, I posed this question on Twitter:

And then THIS happened!

That is her signing my book! And she said, “Thanks {and then MY name}.” Chelsea Handler said my name! How awesome is that!  Finally something to be thrilled about! I felt so special when she said my name. I mean, is this lady that I watch every night – I watch her so much that I know when it’s a repeat by the clothes she wears, it’s like I have some memory malfunction where I can’t remember that my kids have parent/teacher conferences (yes I forgot to meet my kids teachers this week! Can you believe that!) but yet I can seemly remember Chelsea Handlers clothes.  Very odd.  Anyway, so this lady that I watch nightly and here she was saying my name and signing my book! I felt like the prettiest girl at the ball or at least like Bella when she was dancing with Edward in the first Twilight movie at the prom. I love that scene don’t you?  

So anyway, that was my Friday night.  Not bad if I do say so myself.  Besides the sound issue and the cousin thingy.  It makes me wonder if I should pose more questions on Twitter? Maybe Twitter is the kryptonite to whatever I have done to Karma to make her hate me so much? 

So, I should ask Twitter:

Please Twitter, send my hubby a awesome job and in three years have to where he can transfer to the Boston area.  I would love to move sooner but the hubby thinks it’s a bad idea to move right now.  I worry he will never really want to move and I will die in this town that I have grown to hate with every ounce of who I am.  But apparently I am alone in that feeling.  - that is more than 140 characters isn’t it? Oh . Well. I want to move and I’m afraid the discussion is off the table indefinitely. 

Please Twitter, get me out of this funk that I am in. I think I’m really starting to suck more than usual as a mom these days and I really don’t want to fuck up my kids more than I already have. 

Please Twitter, give me what is totally and utterly missing from my life- passion. I have none. Nada. Zip. All out of passion these days and I have no idea what I’m doing anymore.  I feel more lost than I ever have in my entire life. 

Please Twitter, a free Botox thingamig would be AWESOME! And a free trip to New York for me and my hubby and kids would be great! I really want to see either the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade or the Christmas Tree lighting. Either one, I’m not picky.  Ya know, a free trip to anywhere would be awesome.  I want out of this town and entire state to some place far far away if even for a weekend.  - Again, over 140 characters isn’t it? 

So, what would you ask Twitter for if Twitter could grant you any wish?