Well, today was day two of this semester of school. Ok, technically school started Saturday if you count when they unlocked the online classes, but you don’t care about that right?
Today I was ten minutes late to my first class (I don’t have classes on Monday). Awesome, yes? Not really. I was so embarrassed because naturally the door to the class was in the front of the classroom and not the back. More awesome! I left 40 minutes before I had to be at class and I was still 10 minutes late. So, if my math is correct, that is nearly an hour to get to a place that is literally 15-20 minutes from my house. I don’t know what the hell was going on this morning! Traffic just sucked ass! And this is the same road I drove many a mornings to work. It’s not like this was some mystery route I was taking and oh, my bad for not planning better. I really have no idea what was going on, maybe a construction zone further than I could see? I don’t know. Either way, I was pissed and embarrassed that I was late. On my very fist day of class as a freshman. Not a great way to start the day. Or semester.
Soooo, next up is going to the library to have them buy back one of my books that I didn’t need. Nope. Not gonna happen (after waiting an hour in line!). Again, I don’t know why. The school promotes that they buy back books, but I guess they don’t buy back this book. Ugh. I moved on. “I’ll sell it online or something” I thought.
Then English class, that went well. Until she pulled out the required books for the semester and low and behold, her books don’t match my books nor any other books anyone else had. Apparently the bookstore had a mixed up and gave everyone the wrong book. PERFECT! I get to go BACK to the bookstore. I. Can’t. Wait.
I go back to the bookstore and naturally I can’t find my receipt so they can’t buy back my books OR exchange my books for the correct ones.
At this point in the story, I’m hot and sweaty from the 100 degree heat and humidity that no air conditioning can seem to cool off. I’m tired from standing forever in line. Twice. I’m drained from lack of sleep because hello! I hardly sleep more than a three hours at night. My mind is racing AND mush from all the stuff that has been shoved into my brain to remember over the last few days. I’m just a big ball of mess.
I was so pissed about waiting in line for yet another hour the second time at the bookstore all in one day, that my mind was mush and I didn’t think about asking them to just print me out another receipt and taking it from there (because surely, if Wal Mart can print me out another receipt upon request, this dumbass bookstore can too? Right?). So, I’m back the “selling them online” idea or something similar. I made a firm commitment to myself after today that I will never go back to the school’s bookstore for anything. They suck ass. Helpfulness is not something they were apparently ever trained in.
I tell ya, yes, this is HUGE gift that I’ve been given- going back to school. But it just seems like I’ve jumped through hoops to get into this school, figuring everything out alone. And with the bathroom incident on Friday and today was a just a bummer of a day. I just feel like that I’m outta my league or something. I have this lingering feeling of doubt following me. Maybe it’s just because I’m trying something totally out of my element and it will take some time for me to get my footing and for all of this to feel normal? Maybe I’m not as smart as I once was, I graduated second in class the last time I did this college thing. It seemed much easier then. In my memory, everything seemed to come so easily to me back then. But in today’s world, the first quiz I took yesterday, I got a 70! A 70! Really? Me? Not ok. The second quiz I took, I got an 80. Better, but not great. I’m like a C student right now. *sigh* A ‘C’ student who arrives late to class and has the wrong books. And to top it all off, I look old.
I can’t go back to my job, don’t want to go back. I want this education. I really do. I just want the universe or God or something to send me some sign that I’m doing the right thing, that I’m not crazy for going back to school at this stage in my life. I want some hardcore reassurance that I’m doing the right thing.
And I want a Hershey chocolate bar too.
But this is my “make it better song” that always cheers me up on days like today. What is your “make it better song?”
That's one of my favorite workout songs!
ReplyDeleteCollege will come easier. Once you've settled into a routine, things will fall in place. As far as the test, I bombed my first one last year, and I was able to squeak out an A for the class. Just try to relax and not place so much pressure on yourself. I know that's so much easier said than done, but its true. Once I was able to relax, I did so much better. And I know you will, too :)
Becky- It is a great song! And thanks for thinking that I can do this college thing. I hope you are right :)
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