The Big News Is…

 

My big news: I am quitting my job on the 30th of this month and going back to school. I will get my degree in education and become a middle school math teacher.  This is something that I’ve always had a back in the mind dream thingy/ goal/ pipe dream- most of my dreams and goals have always involved not going back to school and doing something NOW to make money because going back to school was something I didn’t think I could do given working full time, two kids, a hubby that works nights, Glee and Grey’s Anatomy to watch, ya know… I was a busy girl!  But thanks to my mom, I can fulfill this dream.  Where did I get this crazy dream from all those years ago? My grandpa was/is (I never know do I say, was or is?) a retired math teacher after he retired from the army. 

When I got my associates degree, I made my mind up that I wanted to get my degree quickly because I thought, “Well, I will get this degree in two years instead of four and will start a business and I’ll be on Forbes 500 list in no time!”  Ten years later, I still have no business to call my own and my “teacher dream” is still simmering and yelling at me, “Well, ya going do it NOW?!?! I don’t want to tell ya I told ya so, but well, I told you all those years ago this was what you should have been doing all along.  Don’t feel bad about wasting ten years of your life to some pipe dream that wasn’t really gonna come true because some where in the back of your mind, you knew this is what you should be doing.”  Yeah, my teacher dream talks to me. 

So, there it is… the big news. 

What do you think?  Pretty crazy huh?  I’m excited and nervous all at the same time.  I certainly don’t want to mess this up like I did the last time!  I am out of dreams after this one.  Life only gives you these chances like nearly never.  I am very thankful for my mom to be able to hand me this opportunity.  Once again, she made it all better like only a mom can do. 

You see, it’s next to impossible for me to go back to life as I knew it.  I just can’t.  I have to shed most of what I thought I knew about life and where I thought it was going to take me and jump onto another lily pad.  I have to trust that my mom and grandpa are the ones screaming at me right now saying, “Finally!” And I have to trust that the foundation that my mom and grandpa gave me is enough and that I really am strong enough to do this … like on my own! I don’t “on my own” like ever… never had to. Never made a decision this big without my mom and grandpa telling me yes or no.

In other news, I’ve been texting friends, going out to lunch, and talking to folks on the phone and even went to a friends house last night and drank some awesome southern sweet tea while our kids played. Loudly.  I’m trying not to close off and hide from the world.   I’m not as outgoing as I can see myself being, but I’m getting there.  I hope anyway.  It’s still a daily struggle.  Like, yesterday I went out to lunch with some friends and it was at the place I took my mom for mother’s day- it’s just a place about a block away from where I work- my mom had spinach dip and drank orange cream soda, she was so excited they had it because she hadn’t had it years and I laughed because I had never heard of it and joke that it must have been a drink from the 50’s or something- I told her that I drink just normal orange soda. She made me take a sip and I loved it, just like she said I would.    Nothing I seem to do, I can do without being reminded of her in someway.  Everything seems to go back to her in some way… I wonder if that will ever go away.  When I start to make new memories and move into the era of my life when I can remember times without her, I wonder what that is going to feel like? 

Well, lets close out this post on a happier note… this song right here could possibly end up being one of my favorites.  When I first heard it, I thought it had to be joke! It couldn’t possibly be real… but sure enough, it is!  I laugh every time I hear it and that my dear friends is a good thing these days.